Learning to Lean
Some Random Life Thoughts by kate
Why does everyone pretend not to want what everyone wants? This is about putting on a façade vs. being totally real. This is also about being a slave to pride and pleasing others vs. experiencing freedom. At women’s time we learned that our heart is most like His when we are being who God created us to be. I want to be totally free to know what I desire and not pretend I don’t want it. We all long to be loved, accepted, cared for, encouraged, wanted, remembered, liked, etc. My own pride prevents me from admitting this. Also, one of my best friends this week confessed that she has a hard time expressing the love and compliments her heart often feels. She’s not alone. We all do this to some extent. Why? We are vulnerable when we reveal those thoughts. I want to be someone who shares that love uninhabited. God is love. When I am near to Him His love flows naturally. If I let it. I have to get out of God’s way. I have to be emptier so He can move through me like a vessel. Isn’t it strange that if we empty ourselves we actually have fullness. Ironic. God is a God of great irony. If I lose my life, I gain it.
Will Walker wrote, “The worst form of loneliness is not that of being alone, but that of being unknown.” This is so true. We don’t long for tons of people around. Not really. Some of my loneliest moments have been in crowds of friends. The answer all comes back to God. He is the One who knows us. This type of intimacy does not even exist on a human to human level. The living water of God satisfied the deepest most intimate, desperate desires to be known. I seldom truly experience this all-satisfying fullness. This is my fault, not His. When I do take a sip from the deep well of His nature, His heart, I am all at once fulfilled but wanting more of Him.
See, I still don’t grasp it all. I don’t have to work. I used to picture pursuing the Lord as me running after Him. I still do really. But that isn’t it at all. I think it’s more like leaning into Him. He is always there. He doesn’t leave my side. No matter what I feel, what the world says, what lies I am captured by, He is so drawn to me as His beloved that He can’t leave. Wow. That is life-changing if I can just learn to truly apply that in each moment. I can let go of the mountain-view and take His hand. He can be my eyes to lead, my hears to beckon…I just need to lean. Not run, not work. Lean into Him.
Learning to lean, Kate
Some Random Life Thoughts by kate
Why does everyone pretend not to want what everyone wants? This is about putting on a façade vs. being totally real. This is also about being a slave to pride and pleasing others vs. experiencing freedom. At women’s time we learned that our heart is most like His when we are being who God created us to be. I want to be totally free to know what I desire and not pretend I don’t want it. We all long to be loved, accepted, cared for, encouraged, wanted, remembered, liked, etc. My own pride prevents me from admitting this. Also, one of my best friends this week confessed that she has a hard time expressing the love and compliments her heart often feels. She’s not alone. We all do this to some extent. Why? We are vulnerable when we reveal those thoughts. I want to be someone who shares that love uninhabited. God is love. When I am near to Him His love flows naturally. If I let it. I have to get out of God’s way. I have to be emptier so He can move through me like a vessel. Isn’t it strange that if we empty ourselves we actually have fullness. Ironic. God is a God of great irony. If I lose my life, I gain it.
Will Walker wrote, “The worst form of loneliness is not that of being alone, but that of being unknown.” This is so true. We don’t long for tons of people around. Not really. Some of my loneliest moments have been in crowds of friends. The answer all comes back to God. He is the One who knows us. This type of intimacy does not even exist on a human to human level. The living water of God satisfied the deepest most intimate, desperate desires to be known. I seldom truly experience this all-satisfying fullness. This is my fault, not His. When I do take a sip from the deep well of His nature, His heart, I am all at once fulfilled but wanting more of Him.
See, I still don’t grasp it all. I don’t have to work. I used to picture pursuing the Lord as me running after Him. I still do really. But that isn’t it at all. I think it’s more like leaning into Him. He is always there. He doesn’t leave my side. No matter what I feel, what the world says, what lies I am captured by, He is so drawn to me as His beloved that He can’t leave. Wow. That is life-changing if I can just learn to truly apply that in each moment. I can let go of the mountain-view and take His hand. He can be my eyes to lead, my hears to beckon…I just need to lean. Not run, not work. Lean into Him.
Learning to lean, Kate
posted by Kate at 8:07 PM
2 Comments:
this is just something random:
my nickname is "Ed" (i hope you recall this), and i live in room 209 of Drake. The evil robot from the first robocop movie was named "ed-209". I just thought I should mention this.
Love,
Ed
i feel like there is such an emphasis on perfection in the Christian community...almost as if showing faults or even emotions cause others to look down at you. there isn't enough living being done...not enough passion being expressed. because passion involves danger and pain and love and joy and being different from those around you. that's where i feel the facade you talking about comes from...and i'm guilty of this as well. i stifle myself so that i am that calm and stable person that i want to be viewed as. i also feel like the Christian life is made out to be this difficult, tortorous path that involves long months of prayer before any decision can be made. and it's not like that. God speaks into our hearts immediately and continously. pursuing God doesn't have to be done at a run...pursuing God is as simple as reaching out your hand and taking His.
so basically...amen sista!
kare bear
ps i love you so much!!
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