Satisfied
“God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in Him.” I first heard this quote a few years ago…and He has again brought it to me to reflect upon and apply. It’s an obvious concept; when I am fulfilled IN Him, He will be magnified, glorified, and edified. I think its crucial to focus on the “in” of the quote…it’s NOT about being satisfied BY Him…through His blessings, through His provisions, the friendships, and the opportunities He gives…but to be satisfied IN Him. This means, HE is the Source of all our security, identity and self-worth. Any other source is clearly idolatry. I say clearly only because when we step back and make a definitive statement as to what an idol is, it’s simple and straight-forward, however, in daily living, we lose that certainty quickly. This is for a few reasons…as I have discovered through experience lately. Satan. His attacks are frontal, as so, we must go on the offensive with him. He is the Great Deceiver. Lies are his native tongue, and he imparts those lies in our minds if we let him. I’ve done that for the past few months for sure…of course, he also masks those lies. While he imparts and plants these thoughts, its what WE do with them that can destroy us. We must exercise spiritual discernment over our thoughts… an awesome quote I heard once goes something like this, “if you sow a thought, you will reap an act, if you sow that act enough you will reap your character, if you sow that character you will reap your destiny.” And proverbs says, “as a man thinks, so he is.” We are literally shaped by the thoughts we indulge in. I desire to just be enthralled in Him, He will guard and protect our thoughts, our hearts. Another reason we become blind to our own idolatry is our own rebellion. Rebellion, as I learned a little while is a stubborn resistance against authority. We actually RESIST God Himself when we settle for other “lovers”. We begin to allow these lies to infiltrate and stir within. We start to prefer illusions to truths…the TRUTH is that we need to DEFINE ourselves radically as one BELOVED by God, ALL other identity is an illusion. We begin to rely on oppression, depend on deceit and run from the One answer we have.
So I come back to the quote….how can I live a life that is truly satisfied by Him and shows that radiant fulfillment each day? That is a question I will spend my entire life answering… it is a process, and a journey. Part of it is loving Him, serving Him, desiring Him out of delight rather than duty. How shall we live? LIVE PASSIONATELY. He is the Messiah, Lord, Redeemer, Light of the World…He is our purpose, our strength, our love our life…how can we afford to go on living a passionless life? Two verses were brought to me last night which gave enlightenment, Psalms 73 says, “Whom have I in heaven but You? Besides you I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 16 says, “in Your presence is FULLNESS of joy, in your right hand there are pleasures forever.” Nearness to the God of the universe is the one and only ALL satisfying experience. Here is a question a wonderful Godly friend of mine once asked, “if we are experiencing the ‘abundant life’ wouldn’t we know it?” I know we would. And I don’t think we, as Christians are really cultivating this fullness of life in our Lord. ALL our needs are to be met in Him…in Matthew 6:33 this is promised. He came to give us JOY in fullness, life in ABUNDANCE. I want to know this intimately, personally, constantly. And I can, if I would only chose to. I think it’s a command and NEED; to really magnify Him, we need to be satisfied in Him.
This is a long one, I realize…and if anyone really reads these, thanks for bearing with my thoughts for today…John Piper wrote something that really has become apparent to me in writing these journals… “I count myself one of the number who write as they learn and learn as they write.”

Let my joy be the echo of His excellence, Kate

A Holy Love
Its Christmas eve day...and I am blown away by the love of Christ. Nothing compares. He is perfect...do we, do I realize that? If i really embraced this truth in my life..that HE IS PEFECT, ALL-KNOWING, LOVING and HOLY...wouldn't my life look different? I think so. I just want to really grasp His truths, His character, His LOVE. Things have been AMAZING over the past week. One word can describe it: Freedom. God has fully set me free from an idol and struggle. He's wanted to for months, and i finally, in one moment, in one final surrender and realization...let it go. He has shown me that He will fill with richness when we strip or cast or throw away those strongholds. I have also learned how much the Deceiver puts lies and illusions in our minds...wow. He IS prowling around like a ROARING lion! a couple days ago, I was praying and feeling burdened. See, when i come home, i often feel very burdened about the future. Partly because my parents are constantly asking and partly b/c i know that the day will come when i tell them that I'm most likely going into some full-time ministry. From that, I begin to pull my trust out of God's hands, into mine...thus, a burdened the size of texas forms. But as i prayed, as i knelt before the God of the Universe, I regained perspective, and SAW my Creator. I am a foolish child in that i forget the power of prayer everyday. It is truly about conforming my will to the God of my life...and He reveals Himself SO FULLY! So as i'm feeling heavy, He's calling me, "Kate, come to me, you, who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest." with that, I came to Him...and He spoke such simplistic, yet POWERFUL Truth....as i'm worrying about the future, He's saying, "BE WHO I HAVE CALLED YOU TO BE TODAY." I don't know about you, but I feel a whole lot of comfort when my God, my Lord whispers that to me every morning. This week, He also revealed His heart about MY heart for Him. I believe its in Matthew 6:21 where JC says, "Where your treasure is, there your heart is also." WOW. I had to stop and pray about that. When i take a look at my life, what do i spend my time, my focus, my energy, my breath on? What thoughts am i captive to? WHAT DO I REALLY TREASURE, VALUE, even...ENJOY? Because, its NEEDS to be God. "apart from You, o Lord, I have NOTHING." Psalm 16:2 ...What i put my time, my values into, will, shape the very person i am to become. Isn't that motivation to really take a look at what we think about, do, etc? I want to be like the merchant who found the pearl. He treasured it IMMEDIATELY...He ran home and sold and gave up ALL else. Would i be willing to do that? AM i today ready and willing to give anything to Him? "He is no fool, who gives up what he CANNOT keep...to GAIN what he cannot LOSE."
His Beloved Bride, Kate

Deep Reflection Time:
I have been really learning so much over the past 24 hours, whether in the word or just in conversation with Him ...and I have realized that I've been holding on to illusions of an idol...not Truth. I read John 15 a few days ago and understood what He has been trying to say to me for months; He doesn't want to just "prune" this certain situation, He needs to severe it. There is some initial pain in this, but there is also a real deep joy in that I am being sculpted by the great Potter- and how delicate His hands are! Also, i've finally discovered that the root of the hold on this idol is that i have a hard time trusting that God has this perfect plan, this "something better" in His timing. Then reading Isaiah 45, I gained His perspective, "...so that from the RISING of the sun to the place of its setting, men may know there is none besides Me." He is the God of the Universe, capable of displaying His power in the stars, the rising and setting of the sun, how can i possibly doubt for an instant that He is captable of holding and molding MY life? So how does the LIBERTY of Christ become a reality in my life? How do i experience His freedom ( It is for FREEDOM You set us Free!), ? One word: Obedience. Isaiah is bursting with Truth concerning His authority, our REBELLION and how He pours out safety and blessings for obedience... Through Isaiah, i've learned that He made us with a very real need to be ATTACHED. To entice us, Satan offers us alternate attachments masquerading as fulfillments to our inner needs. Thus, ANY attachment (reliance) other than God is fraud. I NEED to attach myself to the One and Only real fulfillment! This is a daily pursuit. I've come to truly know and appreciate God's faithfulness to me, despite my rebelliousness and adultery. "How gracious He will be when you cry for help! As soon as He hears, He will answer you.” That is a PROMISE! How beautiful is that? I desire nothing less than to cast off the idol’s in my life and shout “Here am I Lord, send me!”
His Beloved Bride, Kate

Vision
Its been a wonderful day. Finals were crazy but how good He is! During quiet time today...which by the way, really isn't a sufficient name for getting alone with Him b/c its not always so quiet...its prob. the most exciting part of my day...and trust me, there is some exciting stuff in my days :)! ANYWAY, during
"Crazy Time with JC" today, the Lord gave me a vision. Its really simple..but then again, He is a God who makes the simplistic so BEAUTIFUL isn't He? It was of this lake and a canal that channels the water into a bigger lake....and He spoke to me saying, "Kate, delight in Me, find security, excitement, purpose, love, all in Me...let Me be your Source of Living Water...and then, your cup will overflow and you will have a natural outpouring of Me which just has to be channeled to others!" The JOY He blesses me with is truly difficult to contain, and the thing is, i never have to try to contain it!...and although this vision held a concept that certainly wasn't new, it breathed life into my soul, heart and mind...and i understood for a moment God's divine Way. Now that its past two AM, i should go to sleep! I'm just loving this life He's blessed me with..b/c it's ALL about Him, whats NOT to love?
Sleepin in His arms, Kate

Awesome God
I hope to convey in this online journal what my AWESOME God is doing in my life. He is for sure a life-changing God. To know this Truth is to experience His abundant life. And believe me, He came to give life in FULLNESS. John 10:10 speaks of this i think. Yesterday, I read an encouraging verse in Chron. 22:19: "Now, DEVOTE your heart and soul to seeking the Lord your God. Begin to BUILD the SANCUARY of the Lord God." Wow. Devote...commit, be ENTRALLED in..this is all calling for TOTAL devotion. Our God does not call us to half obedience, and He does not demad half devotion...He should not have to compete for our full devotion. However, because we are human, so often He is put in that position..we force Him to compete with our other "lovers". Hosea 2 and Ezekiel 16 talk about this in detail...Jeremiah 3 talks of "sitting on the side of the road waiting for other lovers." Today, I ask you as well as myself, what other lovers am I waiting and seeking? Whatever that may be..whether a particular relationship or self image or anything that we base our security or identity on is an idol. In Hebrews, we are called to "cast off the sin that so easily entangles us"...what is that for you? I know I have some things that immediately come to mind..and i know i want to cast those off completely...not with a gentle goodbye but with a strong shove out of my life...no longer do i want to live a life of distraction, of half-devotion to my King. He gets ALL of me..for in Songs it says "My Lover is mine and i am His!" How sweet is that!? :) When i seek Him with ALL my heart, I find Him...James 4:8 also says, "draw near to me and i will draw near to Him." I don't just want to know these verses...they are ingrained in my heart so that i may apply them fully...can i live a life WORTHY of the calling? Can I, as Paul says, "conduct myself in a manner WORTHY of the GOSPEL of Christ? I will do all i can to glorify Him!
Wholly His, Kate