Waters
Pnuemonia has a way of really bringing you to total reliance on even the most basics of life...He had to stop me somehow, I knew He had been trying for a few weeks, but i couldn't stop "working for Him" could i? I was blind, I was empty and pouring out when i didn't have any more to pour. I was still trying to do it in my own strength, unwilling to stop and ask if this was what He had for me right now. Satan will put awesome chrisitan opportunities in our lives to deter, distract and drain us. We have to discern what is the will of the Father...i have to take a look at things....and simply go back to enjoying Him. He is begging for me to truly just cease striving and REST. He brought me to John 6 today...He just kept penetrating that passage over and over "john 6, john 6"...one of those few times when i finally get that its Him speaking...loudly and clearly as He did to St. Augustine in the garden, "pick it up and read..."Anyway, the Living Word breathed life into me....I was craving it more than i ever have..being so sick i couldn't read or really not having the capacity to pray much...was making my Spirit thrist and long for a taste of Him. Truths were conveyed:
1. The boy who offers what he had to offer: It is His desire for us to give Him who we are, all of ourselves, and become a vessel, but i have become the source and thus, my supplies depleated immediately. I was offering more than i had to offer.
2. Anything is possible - JC feeds 5,000 from 5 loaves and 2 SMALL fish. Why do you think the author included the word "small" ? To really depict the power of our God...I have not believed in the Almighty power apart from my finite understanding of it. I worry about raising $2,500 for Project this summer....and yet everyday His power is one of life transformation....O Lord give me the child-like faith!!!!
3. Jesus walking on water:
"It is I; don't be afriad....then they were willing to take Him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading." (v.21)
Before Jesus arrives there is chaos, fear, and the disciples seem to be lagging in energy, drained and unable to get where they needed to be...after Jesus, there is a Spirit of calm, understanding and trust....IMMEDIATELY He takes them to their desired haven....
This last part caught my attention..i've never noticed it before....IMMEDIATELY the boat reached the shore where they were heading...then he led me to an awesome connecting verse from Psalm 107:
"He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and He guided them to their desired haven."
He desires to hush the waves of my life, to still the storms of my world and whisper His guidence to my Spirit and lead me to peaceful waters.
But I have realized there must first be internal change before any external changes occur. This means, my motives, core, the eyes of my heart must be awakened to the Reality that is Christ's will before things are set in motion to fall into place of His plans.
Once we rest in His arms, we are taken immediately to where we need to be to accomplish the will of the One who sent us-
Resting in the arms of my Great Healer, Kate

Chaos to Calm in Him
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and the mountains quake with their surging...be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46
Profound. The way He declares that we can know absolute peace and stillness WITHIN if we give Him authority...realize WHO HE IS...internal stillness in the midst of external chaos. May I be a pillar of peace in Him. Make my heart His dwelling place.
I am utterly exhasted, my own strength more than depleated, but drained beyond any thought of returning. I try to do too much, and i have become a martha....bring me back to be a mary- Mark 14:9, Jn. 12:3
Mary gave You expensive perfume....a years wages...this reveals such wholehearted abandonment, absolute desiring to serve You....to Pour means to flow or cause to flow in a stream or flood; to supply freely. You desire ALL of us...to outpour to completion, to freely offer ourselves as living sacrifices..to be poured out like a drink offering.
"...house was filled with fragrance of perfume.." Our offerings to You Lord, our surrenderings and abandonments are like a sweet fragrance to You- intoxicating, pleasing and ultimately fulfilling to You and me.
I don't know, but i think He is trying to connect these two passages to me...
a. the world around me seems to be out of control...and it is, because it's not in MY control...and PRAISE THE LORD for that, because ultimately, i become exhasted beyond explination if i try to do ONE day on my own strength.
b. He is begging, longing and simply commanding me to be still before Him. To love Him and be loved by Him.
c. In that wholehearted intimacy, i am replenished, revived and restored.
Thank You J. Christ, that You are patient with me and that You do draw near to those who draw near to You!!
I surrender again, Kate