My goal is God Himself at any cost, dear Lord, by any road-

It's amazing how faithful He is. I am embarrassed by my lack of faith. He has proven Himself over and over, that His promises are true. "He draws near to those who draw near to Him", "If you seek me with all your heart you will find Me." He reveals Himself. How blessed am I that I am a daughter of the King...an unchanging Truth that will remain always.
It has been a season of dryness, of a depleted spirit, body and mind. He didn't leave me, but my sense of Him had lessened dramatically. I was in a valley- and even in the valley there is peace and growth, it is just the type of growth that is quiet, like a stream, always moving but not flowing greatly-
I love that He knows. There is such purpose in trials- such development of character, perseverance and an enlarged perspective of His goodness.
He led me to a verse in Psalm 46:6- "He utters His voice, the earth melts."
Here the power of God is illustrated. He utters, not shouts, or yells...all my God has to do is utter, and the earth is transformed. What a God, that He has the power to control all, yet gives us the opportunity to desire Him for ourselves.
Another incredible Word comes from Lamentations 3:32-33
"Though He cause grief, He will have compassion according to the abundance of His steadfast love. For He does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men."
what Love, that He should cause us to suffer only to bring us into union with Himself...because there is peace, joy, security and satisfaction in His close embrace.

May my life reflect the call to love Him so deeply and richly that i may say with Truth and boldness, "my goal is God Himself, at any cost, dear Lord, by any road."

His alone, KateMunson

Kim and me watchin the sunset...I do miss tahoe- Wow God, You are my rock, my firm foundation! 

Well, I have made it through midterms...
I am exhasted but in my heart is at peace
Thank you specifically to Jeremy and Ashley for being there for me in my moments of desperation...but mostly,
Thank you Jesus for being there ALWAYS in moments of panic, desperation, exhastion, saddness. Thank you for the sun shining gently on my face right now. Thank you for naps of deep sleep. Thank you for funny inside jokes that never grow old. Thank you for being my help in times of trouble. Thank you for worship music...music in general that seems to speak my heart better than i ever could. Thank you for the beauty and simplicity of life when i trust all to You. Thank you that you have patience for me because i rarely trust all to You. Thank you that you know how desperate and pathetic I am, how half-hearted my devotion to You is...and yet You love me and use me whenever I am willing. And still You see me as Your beautiful one.~
Life is better when you are praising Him....everyone who reads this, comment about AT LEAST one thing you are thankful for because of Him!

Memory of the Day: jammin out with all my girls in Tahoe...always! :)

Your Child, Kate

I want to be a Disney Princess when I grow up!  

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
No I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the darknessIf You want me to
When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shoutGonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley if you want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to-
-song by Ginny Owens

So today was wonderful. It is the first day in the history of Kate Munson where I did not do anything but sleep and enjoy fellowship...I am battling not feeling guily or feeling like I "wasted a day"....i seriously have this idea in my head that if I don't work, study or get done things that I have on this big list that i was not productive and wasted a day....but Holt (my pastor) pointed out that God rested on the seventh day as an example....and when I don't rest one day a week, I am saying that I don't trust God enough to get done the work He's given me in 6 days.
So, I'd like to thank Ashley, my roommate, for showing me how its done ...doing nothing and having fun....i love ya- :)
His, Kate

He is SO BIG, but He cares about EVERY LITTLE detail of my heart!  

Looking up....:)

Things are looking up. After the big prayer session I could def. feel a sense of release and peace...I have talked to work and am only going to work once a week, and take a step back from ministry for a little while...and just relax. Also, in a couple weeks I am going to the doctor from home to get blood tests.
I met with Pastor Holt today and that was awesome...got to the root of some of the issues of busyness and if you wanna know, just ask b/c it is better for me to tell on an individual basis- I love my sisters though..the notes, prayers, encouraging words are so appreciated! (Special thanks to Ash for being there for me :)
Today when Holt was praying over me, I got a vision of me as a little girl...about 5 or 6...running with such joy...my hair waving as I ran with a carefree, excited spirit and I ran into strong, loving arms...never saw the face...but I know, it was my Father, my Daddy, in Heaven...That is what God wants for me ...joy in His plans and living in the moment, not fighting to cope or get through the moment. He is such a loving, intimate God!

the body is truly beautiful. It is there to uphold, support, encourage, speak truth, love, hold, and strengthen...last night was amazing. God was glorified because in the midst of my struggle, His body did all those things. I felt His love shower down as the prayers of my brothers and sisters went up like insence before the Lord. I could not express my gratitude to the 20-some people that crammed into this little, stuffy dorm room to pray for me for 45min on a monday night. Wow. I felt the weight lift off...like they were truly carrying the burden with me. All Glory to God the Father...although i am still sick and struggling, I feel a peace, a calmness that was not there before...and there is truth in my mind - something was lifted. Thank you. It is time to begin the season of just being.

I am at the bottom- at the end of all I am. I have broken down and realized this is not the abundant life Jesus came to give...I do not enjoy life anymore because I am always running around, exhasted, sick and just bearly making it. I am ready to take the help God offers ...and take the help of the body. I need love, rest, restoration, time to breathe and time to simply "be". Please, brothers and sisters, I need prayer- I know His grace is sufficient and that He is strength when I am weak. - Lord, bring me to stability...mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
You are my All and All-

Testing me to the max-
So...this season of my life is hard...but so rewarding as well. Retreat was awesome...for the 7 hours i was there at least :)-
See, Jeremy got off work almost 2 hours later than we thought he would, then his car broke down and we had to go get mine...so I arrived at Sky Lodge about 30 min. Prior to Woman's Time...which i was leading...talk about TRUST. Sadly, I walked by sight and panicked...forgetting that He is faithful and sovereign, I freaked out. Eventually, I came back to His promises and was renewed. He blessed me abundantly with several woman who greeted me at my arrival and prayed for me - thank you Jess, Ginny, Casey and Ashley. The reason for all this? He emptied me. There was not one ounce of me left to "rely" on during woman's time...it was absolutely Him. As it should be. So, with it being absolutely Him, it was a wonderful time...woman were real, shame and isolation were recognized as the lie that they are and God ...His name and renown was glorified. Almost immediately afterward, I was sick again- Back to the "Job season" He is taking me through these past few months. But...i will delight in hardships because I know Him more through them.

Moment of the Weekend: 75 woman singing acapella, "Lord Prepare Me" - there are few things as beautiful as this...The King of kings precious daughters praising Him together-

Realization of the Weekend: Confirmation (again) that I need Him every moment of every day (duh!), Affirmation that I am called to woman's ministry for this life- :)

"I need a sense of release from the anxious cares that have made me feel hopeless. Sometimes the demands on our mind and our time combined with aggravating hindrances to getting it all done are like tight straps around the soul that squeeze all the life and color out of it. I need to feel those straps broken and a great swelling of hope."-
*That is EXACTLY the cry of my heart. Thank you Piper- once again you've described the inner workings and longings of my heart in understandable, eloquent words of truth.

---Nothing can cut those suffocating bands of anxiety from our soul except one thing; the promises of God----- He is faithful, capable, loving, all-knowing, my Best Friend....

----I have never learned anything about trusting God from the easy times, only from the hard--

Overwhelmed-
4 exams, one paper in 4 days next week
Work and retreat this weekend.
I am beyond overwhelmed. I am exhasted. I have nothing more to say.

Lord, You have captured my heart.
You have won me over.
I am Yours
You are mine-
-->Prevent me from taking anything less than what You have for me. Help me to love all those you have put in my life the way You do. Enable me to see every moment as a gift rather than a list. I love you Lord and I live my life for You~

This is real good - Thank you brothers and sisters for all your responses and thoughts about difficult topics- here is a comment from someone about how we can minister to the gay population - to find more comments about this go to the post called "the harvest"
"apologize to them for the way they may have been treated by well meaning but mislead Christian brothers and sisters. then... seek to serve them in an extravagant way. If this means going to your gay-straight alliance meetings and setting up chairs or simply helping out with functions in the areas that no one else likes to help out in... then so be it. do not support the actions or belief structures of the gay culture, but let them know how much you do love them and work hard to befriend them. Christ's Grace is incredibly unfamiliar, and irrresistable. gays need to know that they are not on a different level from the rest of humanity. "

A Conversation
This is part of a "conversation" I had with a Cru staff guy from Austin area- I wanted to share it b/c he offers some insightful thoughts-
Kate, good question. I think the abundant life Jesus came to give has to be possible to experience. Otherwise the whole proposition would be some kind of cosmic tease. And you have hit on the reason we don't experienceit, at least in my opinion. That is, we try to find life in other things.
We are wired to want to be accepted and approved of. But we look for those things in people, and that kind of acceptance just doesn't satisfy. In fact, it makes us even thirstier for people's approval. It's salt water. On the other hand, that we are accepted and approved of by God is deeply satisfying. That is the kind of acceptance that becomes in us "a well springing up to eternal life."
So how do we experience this kind of abundant life, this Living Water? I'm sure there are many things to say about that, but I am finding that believing the Gospel is at the root of it all. Specifically, experiencing God's love for us and remembering that we are forgiven of our sin.
Here's an example of applying the gospel to this issue: "God, You are above all and what you think about me is of massive importance. Your love is better than life. But I am broken and shortsighted. I look for the approval of others to satisfy my desire to be accepted by you. It is a false lover and it keeps me from the life you want me to live. I am helpless on my own. It is only because of your great love for me that you gave up Jesus to rescue me from despair, to adopt me as your child, to give me Life.
That is the gospel ... a sinner being reconciled to God in the Person of Jesus Christ. I find that the more I preach this to myself in every area the more I experience the abundant life.
What do you think?

I think that is absolutely true. I think it is easier said than done, but anything that is ever real and deep is hard. It's an inner thing. That makes sense because Christ was focused on the inner sancuary of the heart more than anything else. I suppose this is because we, as humans, have a tremendous capacity to "put on a front." I could be doing the same thing outwardly, but the motives, mindset and purpose behind it all could be as different as midnight compared to the noon sky- So while i agree with you, how can it be applicable to me daily? I could go through each day - taking thoughts captive and realizing He is source of all I am and have "sober judgement" of myself....but is that it? Is that all I need to do to go from a life that is "somewhat satisfied" to "absolutely abundant"? I guess it would be a radical transformation for where i am now- swayed by what this world tells me i should think of myself and should want...